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Great Afternoon by ~francees:iconfrancees:

Categories Literature > Poetry > General Poetry > Open


I'm a' falling asleep
So I leave all my friends on the spot
Loved ones or not, it's about time to get going
But then it starts raining
It's heavensent and I'm training myself
To be a good girl now

Oh, it's a great afternoon for a poet
It's a beautiful chance and I know it
It's a great afternoon for people to think I'm crazy
Oh, it's a wonderful day, to be out in the rain with your clothes off
Baby I know it

As I walk down the street
sunflowers bloom in my mind
All the men who I meet
they don't mean too much to me, no
My blonde hair is soaking
My coldness is something
But deep down I'm on fire!

What an afternoon for me, as a poet now
I'm taking this chance to shine
It's a great afternoon for people to think I'm crazy
This day keeps me fufilled
And I love you
Like I love being out in the rain
©2005-2009 ~francees
:iconfrancees:

Author's Comments

07/03/05 Acually written last March

Comments


love 0 0 joy 0 0 wow 0 0 mad 0 0 sad 0 0 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0
:icongnd-zer0:
~Gnd-Zer0 Jul 13, 2005, 11:13:25 AM
As a fellow poet... I can fully understand the appreciation of rainy days. It sounds like you had fun on this one. I think when the poem is read it perpetuates the feelings that you had that day fairly well. Rainy days are always a bitter sweet. More sweet if you ask me with a hint of reminiscence in the air.

Your use of repitition is very powerful in this instance... it almost reminds me of the relentlessness of rain.

The third stanza is a bit choppy.... and maybe somewhat ambiguous but I like it all the same. I think this one... is one for the favorite page.
:iconfrancees:
~francees Jul 13, 2005, 1:16:20 PM
thank you for your kind comment and fav :) this day was choppy in essence, and while walking home (in the rain) i just started to sing out (lol got some funny looks with that one) and came up with this piece. very glad you enjoy it.

--
skinfidelity
:iconkirjailija:
~Kirjailija Jul 13, 2005, 1:19:37 PM
This was a great read. I could really identify with this peice, which is always wonderful for a reader. I know exactly how you feel, rainy days are some of my favorite. Excellent times to write poetry, or sleep perhaps! ^^
:iconfrancees:
~francees Jul 13, 2005, 8:12:33 PM
thats funny :) because i sung this out of my mind while walking home in the rain, got home, wrote it down, and promptly went to sleep.

--
skinfidelity
:iconcomeau:
~comeau Jul 14, 2005, 12:59:29 PM
awesome poem. i remember that day, even though i wasn't with you when you were singing in the rain. i remember you telling me this a while ago, i loved it then, and i love it now :)

--
Check out my music: Myspace -or- Purevolume

LostSoulForever's Prints
:icondeathly-life:
~deathly-life Jul 17, 2005, 9:31:56 PM
its awsome.

"My coldness is something
But deep down I'm on fire!"

love it!

--
i dont want your sunshine, and i dont want your sympathy.

-----------

engulfed in this black hole spiralling south
:iconfrancees:
~francees Jul 19, 2005, 9:32:26 AM
i wasnt sure if i was to put it on d.a but i remembered that you liked it :) thanks combs :) Singing in the rain ins definatly not overrated.

--
skinfidelity
:iconfrancees:
~francees Jul 19, 2005, 9:38:34 AM
thanks :) singing in the rain can do wonders for poetry.

--
skinfidelity
:icondeathly-life:
~deathly-life Jul 19, 2005, 11:01:24 PM
ill try it next time it rains...
normally i just stand there to see how much water i can soak up:D

--
i dont want your sunshine, and i dont want your sympathy.

-----------

engulfed in this black hole spiralling south
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